Conclusion of the raccoon saga

The raccoon has been captured!!!

We've had a raccoon living under our apartment off and on for over a year. Recently, he started chewing at the walls to get in to our warmth, and therefore, he had to go. We had some critter control people come out and set some humane traps to catch the little dude. At first, he proved elusive. Maybe he wasn't interested in the marshmallows with peanut butter or maybe he wasn't interested in being in a trap that smelled like purified skunk stink (true story, stupid critter people). Nevertheless, we did eventually hear little raccoon scuffles outside our bedroom window where the traps were located. Now begins our story.

The setting: A small cruddy apartment in Berkeley, CA, USA

The time: The deep cold of night, the witching hour, 12 midnight

The players: Nathan (brave giver of food), Allison (the photographer), raccoon (the antagonist)

Scene: (There is an eerie noise outside.)
Nathan: Do you hear that?
Allison: Yeah, it sounds like something got caught in one of our traps.
N: Let's go check it out.
(Nathan and Allison grab coats and a flashlight and head outside. They see an animal-shaped lump in a trap.)
A: Look, it's the raccoon!!!
N: Oh, he's looks so sad in there. Maybe we should give him some food. We've got carrots, right?
A: Yeah, but let's use the celery, it's longer.
They head back into the apartment to get the celery. Back outside, Allison takes a couple of pictures of the raccoon.
A: Go ahead and give him the celery.
(Nathan pushes an end of the celery through the slats of the cage. Unfortunately, he keeps on pushing, hoping to make the celery more accessible to the raccoon. The raccoon, however, interprets this act as a threat.)
Raccoon: {snarling and lungeing} Grrrr, I'm gonna get you!!!
N: Ahh! Don't get me raccoon!!!
(Nathan drops the celery and he and Allison run back into the apartment.)
A: That raccoon was angry!
N: I don't feel sorry for him anymore. I could have lost a finger. He bit right through that celery, stringy bits and all!
A: Phew! He's a rodent, not friend...even though he's not a rodent, but you know what I mean.

End Scene

Look at the evil red glint in his eye.

Ok, ok, he's still cute, but don't try to feed him.